On the occasion of Mother’s day ……..

On the occasion of Mother’s day ……..

All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother – Abraham Lincoln

After the daily  early morning chores , as I clicked my cellphone to open WhatsApp (WA) , there was a barrage of messages announcing Mother’s day, thanking Moms ( pictures of mirror image of MOM as  WOW),poems dedicated to mother , children remembering their respective mothers, some with lovely pictures others with heartwarming content.

Yet there were others who mentioned that they believed that every day is Mother’s Day. We don’t need to devote one day for that. Going by that reasoning, everyday is an Independence Day if you are living in a free country. Every day is Valentine Day if you are in love and everyday is mourning as we are all mortals and dying bit by bit as we progress in life. Observance of such days helps in remembering , reuniting and expressing love – an emotional well being so very necessary to make life worth it.

 There was an eye opener too:

“Going by the number of messages expressing love for mother that have been posted on WA and Face book ( FB) today, even if half of it is really felt sincerely by the children , then all old age homes in the country would see a lock at their main gate.”

Indeed a critical reflection of the modern age. However there are two sides of the same coin. It is not always that the children have to be blamed. Many a times there are ego issues that come in the way.

Yet, in India even today there are many parents living with children and also joint families. Children take full care of the parents lovingly and with due sense of responsibility. Even those that are not staying together interact and meet often.

Although this concept of Mother’s day is imported from the west it is that day during the  year when children make attempt to meet their parents. No harm in receiving a loving post from your child. It also provides a platform or a chance for love to triumph over hate. An opportunity of healing,making up and forgiveness. Some say it is a western fad. These are few good practices (including Thanksgiving), which we reticent Indians can emulate.  In India too we do have matru din, pitru din, shikshak din, bal din , Guru Pournima and many more such days in our culture.

Although we always glorify mothers , there are many who have neglected their children. Not necessarily moms in the lap of luxury but even poor moms who have forsaken their kids for their own corporal enjoyments. Children are known to be mistreated by mothers and the psychology behind it could have other varied and morbid aspects : maybe stress, forced motherhood, a girl child when the family wanted a son,transferring their own insecurities and anger on the hapless . The woman could herself be subjected to domestic violence and living a miserable life.

Forced motherhood out of rape and ignorance can be painful for both the mother and child. Societal pressures do force such moms to abandon their children. Women expelled from their homeland with nowhere to go and forced into pregnancy by the very protectors , abducted women, refugees, wives of farmers who committed suicide, all those who exposed the dignity of the woman : motherhood may be seen as a curse rather than a loving tender relationship.

It is not always parents, it could be children who are the trouble makers, stubborn and giving parents a hard time. Some children are not easy to handle as their demands far outstrip the mental , emotional or physical capacity of the mother. The kids could be reacting to effects brought about by changes in their lives: peer pressure, bad company. Children tend to sometimes misjudge the harshness as lack of love. Thus slowly but surely and gradually all love is lost . Such children may grow up to be lonely, isolated by society and end up hating mom. So it is very important for the mother to weave a relationship of love and openness so that such strains are nipped in the bud itself. A positive attitude and a balancing act –the mother is in a constant see-saw position. Today we also have many counselors and intelligent software to help handle  the situation.

Mother – an image of love and sacrifice. Yet if we think deeply, apart from our own biological mother, this day is to commemorate and celebrate the  purity in the element of ‘Motherhood’. Revered mothers like Mother Mary, Mother Teresa , Florence Nightingale, KasturBaGandhi, Savitribai Phule, Mata Amritanandmayee, Anutai Wagh, Suzanne Brown, …….the list is endless. They are the ones who really mothered the forlorn. Let us all pay obeisance to them on the occasion of Mother’s Day!

Anagha Hunnurkar

Sunday, May 10, 2015