Just Moms!

Just  Moms

Hi Rekha, me Snehal ...Snehal Chitale...Leela mavshi chi mulgi ( Leela auntie’s daughter)...Sion...K ing   George..athavle (remembered) ?

As I read the message on FB, years passed by in a flash and I walked down memory lane to my childhood days. Our house was away from the school and the school bus used to pick us ninety minutes early as it had to do two rounds before school time.  On the contrary, the travel time by car was just about twenty minutes and we could eat a proper meal before leaving for school. It was Leela mavshi  who volunteered to take the four of us to school.(her two daughters and we two, me and my kid sister Swati) Feeling grateful that she did save a lot of time for us then , I also realized that her act of kindness was all out of love as we never did return the favor either in cash or kind. And what was our qualification for this support? Just that we were her friends’ daughters. 

Thinking of the yore, I realized that my life has been showered with love from a lot of aunts. While my real aunts did plenty of good to me, it was more like being ‘entitled’ to it for being a part of the family although we were brought up in nuclear families. What amazes me now is that I received abundant love from aunts who were either my mother’s friends or my friends’ mothers. 

The first such loving figure was my third standard teacher Miss Parvati Iyer. She used to love me so much that many a times during the recess, she used to take me home for a hot Bournvita. Being a class teacher she taught us almost all the subjects and my love for her manifested in the form of writing such beautifully perfect exam papers that I stood first in class III. In fact it was the school policy not to give full marks for languages, then. My teacher took my answer sheet to the Head Master to seek his guidance where to deduct marks as it seems my essay also was word perfect. Neither before nor any time afterwards did I bag the first rank. Demonstrates the magic of power of love.

I don’t even know the names of my friends’ mothers. Each one was an ‘auntie’or ‘mavshi’  .Whether it was Hazel, Meenaxi, Kalpana, Meenal, Nimmi, Kajal or Mina …that did not matter…their mom was my auntie. Meenaxi’s mom used to treat us friends with idli chatni – staple food of South Indians. But the idlis were steamed in stainless steel glasses. Yet those tall mountains were very fluffy and light and that was the attraction. Kajal’s mom used to treat us with macher zhol – the best fish curry that I ever ate. All done with loving care. Lata mavshi needs a special mention as Somans was a second home for me and to this day I get the vibes of being a daughter of that house, too. The list of such kind acts is virtually unending. Grateful to all of them for having made my life colorful with joy and happiness. 

There is a saying in Marathi : Maay maro, mavshi jago!( Mother may die but Aunt should live) As a child I used to feel that there is no one as beautiful as my mother. So this saying sounded very absurd to my juvenile mind. Bizarre that it sounds, there is a lot of truth in it. The mother, many a times, with the responsibility to see that children have to be brought up with good manners and sanskars has sometimes to be firm or stern and deny some things to the children. At that tender age, unable to handle this pressure, they do need a soft spot and how nicely nature has made arrangement of ‘Aunt’. She fills their life with comfort when the comforting bosom is distanced. During the Gurukul times, the young children, away from their homes, were bestowed with motherly love by the Guru’s wife and so was lovingly called Gurumaa! Isn’t it?

Mother is the only person who knows you for ‘nine months’ more than any other person. And yet your soft moments are nurtured by aunts, who play angels, to keep you afloat in your difficult moments. Reminds me of those days when I used to get harried by the high energetic son of mine and used to complain to my sister. Her standing invitation was – ‘If you can’t manage him, I will adopt him but don’t complain.’ Used to keep me in harness for the fear of losing my son to her…ha ha ha. 

It is said that don’t see Guru as a human being but recognize the Gurutatva or element in a person. In retrospect I think ‘Aunt’ too is an element, carefully dispersed by nature among women folk as a back-up to moms. Just the right fall back when moms become ‘Just’ moms and not just moms. 

Anagha Hunnurkar

January 29, 2012